The Job Comes First?
by Leni-H50
Summary: Catherine's point of view of the events leading up to 6x3. Takes place several months later. Includes Dr. Gabby Asano.


_**Catherine Rollins' point of view regarding the events of 6x3. Takes place several months later.**_

"Damn, it's cold" were the first thoughts to enter her mind as she dashed from the cab to the entrance of the local diner. Stomping her boots, she watched as the snow and slush dropped to the floor and was quickly absorbed by the neoprene mat adorned with what was once the image of an aqua blue 57 Chevy. She smiled at the faded image and carefully pulled each fingertip as she removed her leather gloves. Placing them in her pocket, she shook the snow off her coat and proceeded to remove it as she searched for an empty booth. At this point she would settle for an empty stool at the counter. The diner was crowded and she had resigned herself to the fact she would have to wait. As she stood, she couldn't help but take in the diner's décor. It was a throwback to the 1950's. Records, photos of iconic musicians, and neon signs with emblems of vintage cars adorned the walls. She had been here several times before and had to admit she enjoyed the food.

"Catherine!"

Hearing her name, she looked across the diner where she noticed someone standing and waving. Squinting to get a better look, she was surprised to see her old friend.

"Gabby!" she exclaimed as she walked briskly, almost skipping, to embrace her.

"Catherine Rollins, I don't believe my eyes!" Gabby embraced her tighter "What on Earth are you doing in this frozen tundra?"

"Right now, I'm starving. Are you meeting anyone? Can I join you?" she asked noticing the setting for one.

"Yes! Of course, join me. I'm eating alone tonight, or I should say I was, now I'm eating with you" Gabby was almost giddy with excitement. They took their seats on opposite sides of the booth. "It is so wonderful to see you, Catherine"

Catherine's eyes welled with tears of joy. She swallowed the lump that was building in her throat as she smiled through her emotions "It's so great to see you too, Gabby"

The women shared a knowing look. Each flooded with memories of the past

"Can I get you anything to drink?" The waitress was an elderly woman. Her hair reflected a shade of lavender. The worn-out nametag read Marge.

"Disco Fries and a Pineapple Banana Milkshake" Catherine responded out of pure reflex

"What are Disco Fries?" asked Gabby

"You've never had Disco Fries?" Catherine turned to the waitress "Make that two orders"

"I guess I'll have what she's having" Gabby and Catherine shared a smile

The waitress nodded her head as she mumbled "I'll never understand how you skinny girls each so much junk food"

Catherine and Gabby looked at each other and burst into laughter.

Catherine paused "I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud" she reached for Gabby's hand. "I'm so glad I ran into you"

"Me too, I hate eating alone, though I will admit, I've gotten used to it" She tilted her head slightly and parted her lips as if to say something. She changed her mind.

"What?" Catherine questioned

Gabby shook her head ever so slightly "Nothing, never mind"

"Just spill it Gabby, what do you want to tell me?"

"What are you doing here in DC? Why aren't you on Oahu? What happened Catherine?" Gabby's tone changed to a mix of curiosity and sincerity.

"It's a long story" her eyes welled once again. The emotions of running into a dear friend, a friend that tied back to a life she once had were taking over. She took a deep breath and just as she was about to answer, the waitress approached.

"Here you go ladies, two orders of Disco Fries and two shakes. Is there anything else I can get you?" Asked Marge

"No thank you." Gabby smiled. "So what exactly are we eating?" Gabby turned the basket to the side in an attempt to get a better understanding of the ingredients.

Catherine began to explain. "These are Disco fries. I grew up eating these. My dad is originally from New York, Long Island to be exact, and since we moved around a lot when I was a kid…"

Gabby interrupted "Right, your father was in the Navy too, I remember Grace telling me that"

Catherine continued "Exactly. You see, my father made these all the time. I guess it was his way of keeping his connection to his youth. I couldn't believe it when I saw this on the menu here a few months ago. Now it's my go to comfort food"

Gabby took a fry and slowly placed it in her mouth "Oh God! This is amazing! Who would have thought, fries covered in cheese and gravy would taste so good?"

"I know, right?" Catherine reached into the basket and retrieved one of her own. Popping it into her mouth, she closed her eyes to savor each flavor as it saturated her taste buds.

They sat for a while eating, laughing and engaging in small talk. Gabby explained how she landed a job at the Smithsonian and was enjoying her time in DC. Catherine knew she would eventually have to answer some questions and was simply waiting for Gabby to get the nerve to ask. Reading people was her strong suit and Gabby was easy to read.

"So, Catherine" _Here it comes_ "what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Catherine was not going to make this easy

"I'm just going to come out with it. If I'm overstepping, let me know." Gabby knew it really was none of her business but she couldn't believe Catherine and Steve had broken up. She had kept in touch with Grace Williams and their occasional Skype sessions consisted of teenage drama and local gossip. Gabby enjoyed the time she had spent with the Williams family and though reluctant to keep the ties, she was thrilled when Grace reached out to her. Grace couldn't wait to share the events of Kono's wedding and the fact that Catherine had returned. Her excitement was soon overshadowed by the events that would follow.

"What happened between you and McGarrett? The two of you were perfect together?" Gabby's eyes reflected true concern

Catherine put down the milkshake she was sipping and leaned back into the booth; her slouching position reflecting the gravity of the situation.

"The job comes first. I'm not sure how else to put it" She shrugged her shoulder as she reached for a clump of fries.

"His or yours?" Gabby asked

"Both. You know; duty, honor, service. That's what it's all about" there was a slight hint of sarcasm in Catherine's voice.

"Really? Come on Catherine, I know you guys have known each other forever. You met at the Academy, right?" Gabby interjected

"We did, and we developed this _thing_ "

"A _thing_ , huh?" Gabby questioned her choice of words

"Yeah, we formed a connection. Not just physical but intellectual, you know? Well, we had a _thing_ for years. We hooked up when we could and always stayed in touch. We were young and ambitious. Before I knew it, this _thing_ turned into something more."

Gabby interrupted "you love each other, that's obvious to anyone that sees the two of you together"

Catherine let out a sigh and continued "this went on for a few years, in all that time, he never told me how he felt about me. I thought I knew. Then one day out of the blue, right after he completed his SEAL training, he tells me he needs to focus on his career and I was a distraction. Just like that. It took me completely by surprise"

"Wow, that must have been heartbreaking" Gabby was surprised to hear they had split once before.

"Yeh, I knew that was just an excuse, that it was his fear of commitment showing through, but what could I do about it? Nothing."

"Is that when you dated that guy you started the security firm with, I'm sorry I don't remember his name?" Gabby took another sip of her shake

"Billy, yeh." For a brief second the memory of Billy's smile popped into her mind "We dated for a short time. But we were better as friends. I guess I wasn't ready to really move on"

"Obviously you and Steve got back together"

"We shared an assignment on the Enterprise and one thing lead to another. For a while things were great. Then his world imploded and in hindsight, mine did too" She reached for a napkin and wiped the tear that trickled down her cheek.

Gabby leaned forward "I'm sorry Catherine, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to"

"No, I'm fine, I need to talk to someone. I've kept all this bottled in for too long." She continued "At this point Steve and I were together, on and off for years. It was a safe relationship. We trusted each other. I never doubted if he was cheating on me and I believe he felt the same. But he never referred to me as his girlfriend and he never told me he loved me. I never brought it up. I went along with the notion we were casual, I knew different. I know he loved me, and I know it's childish to need to hear it, but I needed to hear it."

Gabby reached for Catherine's hand and gently squeezed it. "You could see he loved you, Catherine. Danny told me numerous times he thought Steve was crazy for refusing to admit it. I can't tell you how many times Danny said Steve was in denial and if he didn't come to the realization of how good you were for him; he was going to lose you"

Catherine paused taking in Gabby's words.

"When I got stationed at Pearl and later resigned, I thought maybe now things would be different, but they weren't. The job always came first. The words were never said. I didn't know where I stood in his life anymore." The lump in her throat grew larger "When Billy was killed, I felt lost. Nothing I did felt right. I felt like I was living someone else's life."

Gabby leaned closer "I know what you mean, I felt that way being in Hawaii, like I didn't belong there"

"When the opportunity to help someone truly in need came up, I grabbed it. I owed those people and the timing was right, I needed to go" Catherine's face was drenched in tears.

As she was ready to continue talking, Marge approached with a box of tissues and two glasses of water.

Catherine reached for the tissues and wiped the tears "thank you"

"I've been there; you ladies stay as long as you need to. If you need anything else, just let me know" Marge reached across the table and retrieved the empty baskets.

"That's when you were in Afghanistan? I heard you saved an entire village of children. That is no small achievement, you should be very proud"

"I am"

"Then you went back for Kono's wedding. Apparently you shocked everyone, especially Steve. Grace was so happy to see you there." Gabby remarked

"I couldn't miss Kono's wedding, and I missed Steve so much. I thought maybe now things may be different" a small smiled adorned her face.

"So what happened?"

"Nothing. It was the same story. He worked and I waited until he needed my help. Things were back to the way they had always been. He said he wanted to talk, but he never made time to do it. I realized that was our relationship. I was willing to accept that. I had every intention of staying. Then I got a call and when another opportunity presented itself, my first instinct was to say no. I was happy being back with Steve. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't ready to give up doing something more purposeful in order to go back to way things have been in the past. It hurt to leave him again, but in all these years he only told me he loved me once. And that was when we were thousands of miles apart. The one and only time was when he thought he was never going to see me again. I realized I needed more. I needed him to say those words to my face. He didn't. How long was I supposed to wait for him to commit? I gave him 10 years of my life, I couldn't wait another 10. What kind of idiot would that make me? I left. He thinks I'm in Nepal. Its better this way, he won't try to find me if he thinks I'm there on some humanitarian mission. I hated lying to him but I had no choice." she slouched into the seat

"You don't know, do you?" Gabby sat upright and leaned slightly forward

"Know what? Is he okay? Did something happen to him?" Catherine leaned forward: there was urgency in her voice.

"He bought a ring. He was going to propose. Grace said Danny was probably more excited than Steve was. She was so happy for you both." Noting Catherine's reaction, "Oh Catherine, you really didn't know" Gabby scooted out of the booth and move to sit next to Catherine.

"He never said anything, not a hint. Wow, I had no idea. I'm not even sure how I feel about that" her voice trailed off "Two years ago there would have been nothing I would have wanted more, but now I'm not so sure."

"You wanted a commitment and obviously he's ready to commit, so why not give it a chance?" Gabby gently placed her hand on Catherine's shoulder "call him, or go back, talk to him. I'm sure he will understand whatever it is you are doing here. He must have had his share of classified missions. If anyone will understand it's him. He loves you, he will wait. Tell him you made a mistake"

"He made it clear he won't wait for me again. Besides, I can't just leave; I made a commitment. He'll want answers. Answers I am not permitted to give him. It's imperative he doesn't get involved." Catherine avoided eye contact.

"What exactly are you mixed up in? What kind of job is this?" She knew with Catherine's' background and the fact they were in DC, it was highly probable she was working for one of the Government agencies headquartered there.

"I'm sorry Gabby, I can't tell you. It doesn't matter anyway because now I'm the woman who broke his heart. I'm sure everyone hates me. I'm sure he hates me"

"I sincerely doubt that Catherine. I'm sure if you explain things to him; he will understand and forgive you"

Catherine reached into her purse, retrieved her wallet and placed some cash on the table. "I'm sorry Gabby, I have to go" she stood.

Gabby stood and they embraced one last time. "Catherine, be careful and please take care of yourself."

"Thank you Gabby" she grabbed her coat and threw it over her shoulders as she briskly walked out the door.

Gabby stood and watched for a moment before noticing the business card on the table. _Catherine Rollins Consultant._ She picked up the card and placed it in her pocket. Grabbing her coat, she paused for a second and reached for her cell phone.

"Danny, I'm sorry to bother you, its Gabby. I know it's been a long time. I think you and McGarrett will be interested to know I just had dinner with Catherine Rollins. You can call me back at this number" she pressed the stop button hoping it wouldn't be long before Danny received her message.

 _ **A cliffhanger? Let's consider this a tribute to the cliffhanger we were left with after 6x3. Will I continue? Maybe, one day. Maybe never.**_

 _ **Thank you Kim for all your help. I would have never completed this without you.**_


End file.
